I felt, since being signed off sick for the last few months that something in my life needed to change. I have been spending my nights listening to abundance meditations, sleep hypnosis, money hypnosis, finding your inner self hypnosis… basically anything to try and get my subconscious unstuck, because I just felt so trapped, both in body and mind. I’ve been telling myself that happiness is flowing into my life constantly, even when times were so hard. my body in pain, my mood in turmoil. I made myself believe. I believe that I deserve all this happiness that is coming towards me.
I started to browse the Indeed job app, I didn’t feel well enough to work, but I knew I could not survive on the ridiculous UK welfare benefits, I know so many people who struggle to survive on them, and with the Conservatives now in power again, it was only going to get worse. I didn’t have a clue what I could do, as a disabled person who has worked for the same company for 10 years. Where there were lots of vacancies, they were in physical positions that would involve standing, working long hours, or manual handling. I knew I needed to be desk based.
I applied for a few positions, and heard nothing.
I continued to have a browse every now and then. I continued telling myself I had super duper happiness, successful light flowing into my body. Sounds a bit crazy I know, but I had to do something and I felt so out of options.
One day I went out for a cup of tea…
I had a rare day last week, when I ventured out of these 4 walls I’ve been trapped in for a cup of tea in town. As I was sitting at the back of my favourite cafe, I eves-dropped on the people on the next table. It was a shop manager doing a supervision with a member of staff. It made me think I should check the indeed app, so I did this, clicking on my ‘recommended jobs’. I saw a position for a Care Coordinator – it looked office based, managing staff rotas and community carer admin. I have been a carer many moons ago and new I was capable of doing such a job. However these jobs usually feature an element of ‘can you bath and hoist and medicate if we’re short?’. I can’t manage a lot of physical work. I decided to call them, normally I would gutlessly email, but I just felt like the day was going well for a change. I wrote some questions on a napkin and called. Anyway, the call went great, I was really interested in the work and they said they would email me an application.
3 days later I was offered the job… WTF…. recruitment in my company takes at least 3 months!
I handed in my notice. It stills feels weird and only today, 2 days later do I feel this sense of freedom, like a weight being lifted.
This job is seriously less pressure, the people seem nice… the salary is shocking, but do you know what? We can still keep a roof over our heads and I can focus on getting better for a while, whilst learning new skills and working just 10 minutes from home. I’m even thinking of going to college in the evenings, when I’m feeling more resilient.
This much change in the space of a week feels magical.
I really believe that by brainwashing my mind with positive, focused, happy energy, I have facilitated a shift, a change in my lifeline, that was getting so exhausted from the same old shit going down everyday. Now I’m pretty excited.
I’m so excited for what will happen next!
I think I brainwashed myself freedom!!!
Love Lis xxx