Selfish ME (a delightful poem)

I’m the healthy looking woman who selfishly takes up the disabled seat on the bus, and lets the old folks stand

I get in lifts at train stations when I have no luggage, wheelchair or pram

I lean against coffee shop counters and anxiously pace in the queues

I doss on the ground on train station platforms

if you were me, so would you

Sometimes I get in a taxi

to drive me a 5 minute walk

People think I’m so lazy

Why should I explain anything to them?  What good does it do to talk?

I cover my ears when your baby screams loud

and I heave at the smell of your food

I pray that you’ll take that baby away

but praying don’t do any good

People think I’m selfish

Because I never make the tea

I struggle to get my fat arse off the sofa

I stare at the stupid TV

When I yawn you think I’m hungover

“one too many tequilas with lime?”

I am the wallflower at your party.  You offer me drinks, I decline

I left the party early

When the pain became so bad

that I stayed in bed for one whole month

I gave up, I felt so bad

My sleep it began to suffer, some nights I spent awake

Some weeks I spent asleep

just to recuperate

No more beloved running

and party lifestyle

I started taking medicines

to make the pain stop for a while

my brain became so heavy

like it was sinking in a fog

I couldn’t tell you the day of the week

to recall what I ate for breakfast in itself became a slog

I’m most comfortable in my own abode

in the dark, no noise, no cold

The pain and fatigue are too much for my brain

without this sensory overload

Sometimes I cant even shower

for the noise it makes me pass out

my man helps me bath, and he washes my hair

with him, I could not do without

But next time that we meet, you’ll say I look well

and that we should go out for drinks

maybe shopping and lunch

it’s only a hunch

and after all of this writing I need 40 winks…

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