Those Were the Days (a poem about my childhood)

Those Were the Days (a poem about my childhood).

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Those Were the Days (a poem about my childhood)

I don’t know why

I was painfully shy

as a young child

when teachers asked questions

I’d try to hide

I wanted to be popular

I wanted to shine

I wasn’t that shy girl I knew deep inside

When as my confidence tried to escape from it’s cage

My doubts kept it back

it stirred with quiet rage.

And kids they would tease me

for what I don’t know

memories of tears shed

and for what?

Who knows?

It’s buried deep in my head.

Secondary started so good

But as a teen

I was generally misunderstood

I hated my body

I hated my mind

I overthought everything

It was challenging times.

I ate 200 calories a day at one stage

I got really thin

with my parents I raged

I bought my first eyeliner

strut about in short skirts

platform shoes

high off the ground.

Now I was skinny

made up

pretty

If they hated me it was just jealousy.

All of a sudden

popular girls spoke

boys noticed my bum

and my hair

and tried to grope me in the nightclub

when I was underage

dressed up really smart

used up all my wage

From my Barratts shoe shop job

buy my entry ticket

use my cheeky gob

blag me some free drinks

(sip them really slowly)

So for eight pounds only I could party to Faithless

Daft Punk

and the The Prodigy.

Morning would come

I’d get up and row with my mum

Over washing up that’s wasn’t done.

Sunday night brought reality

Songs of Praise gave me anxiety

rushing to get my homework done

Sneaking to use the landline phone

In the upstairs bedroom

because if my mum knew

she’d only moan

About the phone bill

she was such a fun kill.

Sometimes I’d sit on the roof of our shed in the rain

drinking vodka on school nights

Protesting again

It eased some of the pain.

But I got by as best as I can

Insomnia gave time

studying hard for exams

And I passed them all

not to shabby for a council estate doll.

And what helped me conquer

what could have been a nightmare?

a hormonal, traumatic time

a beautiful love

and a bundle of friends

they say friendship never ends…

(It does)

But even so

I learnt to perform

I sang songs on stage

acted

learnt to play music

I felt reborn

up on the boards

with the lights in my eyes

in an auditorium of strangers

The shy girls reprise.

And that beautiful love

well it came to an end

we grew up and apart

it shattered my heart.

But I learnt to be strong

and to move along

19 was still young

my life had only just begun.

Be Kind Lis 34 years old x

The Ballad of South Thanet (don’t knock on my door)

don't knock on my door

Here is a poem I just wrote.  I’ve had a really hard day and I woke from a migraine with the first few lines in my head.  I apologise if this offends anybody as it is political and I don’t aim to offend.  I needed to voice some frustration I had going on inside me.  I cannot abide by anything or anyone that demeans my fellow citizens, I believe we all have a story, a reason for why we are where we are, in the world, in our lives.  I also feel strongly that we are not the ones to blame for the failings of our country, and that we should perhaps ‘look up’ at the people in positions of power a little more often, and not down at the person on the street.  (There is a little swearing, again, I apologise if I offend).

Here it is….

Don't Knock On My Door (The ballad of South Thanet) 

You think you know what it's like 
But you don't know what it's like
To be worried if your gonna pay your rent
You are bent
Just like all the others
Those rich public schoolboys
With pound signs flashing in their eyes
It's no surprise
You wanna exploit us 
pretend you are just like us
But your not
You're a banker
You're a fucking smug faced wanker
With your Cheshire Cat faced smirk
You've never witnessed the real hurt
The pain of our desperate neighbours
You act like you came to save us 
From European bureaucracy 
And the one-way doors 
that once were our seas
You use working class fears
To control whilst sipping on beers
Smoking fags like you shun cancer fears
Because you're a working class man
A fella that does what he can
To save us from all the immigrants
Taking our jobs, depriving our infants 
Of schools and of healthcare
Benefits and welfare
And I love my cultural home
We don't really need to be alone
Just because they go to a mosque
Doesn't mean that in them we can't trust
And some of my friends they are Sikh
Some of the nicest guys you will ever meet
Terrorism and religion do not equate
It's psychopath's that are preaching that hate
And like those messed up brainwashing cretins
Who slaughter the masses without any regretting
They manipulate, and spread their hate
To the vulnerable and before it's too late
They are knocking on doors
Infecting your pores
With their warped vision of the truth
Please don't let this harm our youth 
You don't know what it's like
You will never know what it's like

Be Kind Lis 2015

When I fell in love (a poem about love)

Plenty of Fish was a curious place.  An internet site full of totty to chase

Bored on my own, with no man friend to phone

I logged myself in and there I found him

A man with a beard with a profile so weird

that I knew we must meet, I was swept of my feet

by his bearded photos, and cute little nose

He said he liked pies, I was pleasantly surprised

Because most guys said they liked dubstep and fries

I sent him a text saying, PIES ARE THE SEX

and he replied

‘Hello pretty lady, you must be quite crazy, to text a bearded fool like me’.

So we had our first date in the land of Ramsgate

He picked me up in his Daihatsu Chararde

On our way to town the Daihatsu broke down

Small talk to make was quite hard

“do you think it’s your engine”

“I don’t know”

“ok”

“hmmm”

“you have nice hair”

“thanks”

“erm”

The engine magically started and we departed

again

Beers we did drink, over chatting we clinked

our glasses and toasted our fun

He got out his cash, bought me sausage and mash

and baldified me on an app on his phone

It was so romantic, I couldn’t have planned it

He escorted me back to my train,

and kissing my face we got to first base

I knew then that he was the one

IMG_6926

Selfish ME (a delightful poem)

I’m the healthy looking woman who selfishly takes up the disabled seat on the bus, and lets the old folks stand

I get in lifts at train stations when I have no luggage, wheelchair or pram

I lean against coffee shop counters and anxiously pace in the queues

I doss on the ground on train station platforms

if you were me, so would you

Sometimes I get in a taxi

to drive me a 5 minute walk

People think I’m so lazy

Why should I explain anything to them?  What good does it do to talk?

I cover my ears when your baby screams loud

and I heave at the smell of your food

I pray that you’ll take that baby away

but praying don’t do any good

People think I’m selfish

Because I never make the tea

I struggle to get my fat arse off the sofa

I stare at the stupid TV

When I yawn you think I’m hungover

“one too many tequilas with lime?”

I am the wallflower at your party.  You offer me drinks, I decline

I left the party early

When the pain became so bad

that I stayed in bed for one whole month

I gave up, I felt so bad

My sleep it began to suffer, some nights I spent awake

Some weeks I spent asleep

just to recuperate

No more beloved running

and party lifestyle

I started taking medicines

to make the pain stop for a while

my brain became so heavy

like it was sinking in a fog

I couldn’t tell you the day of the week

to recall what I ate for breakfast in itself became a slog

I’m most comfortable in my own abode

in the dark, no noise, no cold

The pain and fatigue are too much for my brain

without this sensory overload

Sometimes I cant even shower

for the noise it makes me pass out

my man helps me bath, and he washes my hair

with him, I could not do without

But next time that we meet, you’ll say I look well

and that we should go out for drinks

maybe shopping and lunch

it’s only a hunch

and after all of this writing I need 40 winks…

To VLOG or not to VLOG

to vlog-

I’m so undecided.   I really want to try vlogging…. I have so much I need to share with the world, I’d love to know if you VLOG and also if you have any tips for being good at it 🙂

Let me know!  (Please link your vlog if you have one!!)