Where did all this extra love come from?

Baby Luke

I always felt I had a lot of love inside me.  Looking at my past, relationships, friendships, I always gave love freely and I still do.  The thing is, I believed that there was a limit, a ‘love limit’ – like I was full of this wonderful, happy, fluffy stuff, that I could share about; the concept that could grow more inside me, never entered my head.

It was only recently that this concept off ‘growing my own’ and accepting more love really came to me as a concept for building on inner happiness and success.  I am so glad it did and I want to share this with everyone.

The baby in the photo is my Nephew, Luke.  He is a beautiful little soul.  We first met when he was 4 hours old.  What surprised me was the way he was looking around, looking at me.  I actually had it in my head babies who had just been born were pretty blind, but I don’t have children and I wasn’t very clued up on newborns, so I had a google.  It seems that they can see things and are studying everything, from their surroundings to faces from birth to around 8 weeks when they start to mimic facial expressions – MAGICAL.

Little Luke and I have spent some time looking at each other and I LOVE HIM TRAZILLIONS.  I didn’t know the love I had inside my heart could get any bigger and he just went and doubled it.

When I met my boyfriend Craig, 3 years ago,  I immediately wanted to share with him every little last bit of the love I had inside me, it really was love at first sight.  I didn’t believe in that before I met Craig, I thought it was something big idiots said, not me… Although sometimes I am a big idiot… Anyway, I realise now, that he in turn gave me his love too, and we are thriving, exchanging love daily and the more I give and get the more I seem to have capacity for.  If only this concept worked for burritos and cheescakes.

See, over the last few years my love zone was working well, and I never felt someone else could come along and give me more love.  Little Luke changed that the moment he arrived last November.  He came along, and immediately shared his love with me, I know he did because I can feel it and see it in his little chubby baby face.  I am now full to the brim and I want more.  I know I can have more.

So how do you grow love? Here’s a few steps:

1/ DESERVE LOVE

I spent over a decade being treated pretty badly in relationships, meeting the wrong guys, some pretty abusive; for a long time I believed that I was just ‘unlucky in love’.  It turns out my self esteem was pretty low the whole time, I had mental health problems in my teems and 20’s, and really believe my feelings of low self worth, led me unintentionally straight to the wrong men, and not just men, but friends too, lets not forget that love is about sharing with a whole manner of people who come into your life and all relationships are important.  So take time to work on loving yourself.  It’s a cliche, but a cliche for a reason, it’s true.  There is so much help out there and I am happy to chat to you online if you need some more pointers. I will be covering this more in the love blog.  The main thing is to know that you are important and you deserve to be treated respectfully and with care and kindness at all times (yes, even you).  Don’t waste time being around people who make you sad, anxious, frightened, or those who are taking your love and not giving it back to you leaving your heart all empty.

2/ BANISH NEGATIVITY

Ok… It is not normal to argue in relationships, it does not make relationships exciting, and it is not part of life.  Arguing, rowing, fighting, just creates negative vibes that none of us need.  Most of us grew up believing that it’s ‘normal’ to do this and yes it is normal… BUT… Do you need it? Do you enjoy it? Does it make you happy? Does it make you feel good inside? Does it solve anything? (Ok sometimes, very occasionally arguing does solve problems, but I believe there is a better way, where we do not need to go through that trauma – this is where communication skills come in brilliantly).  Negativity breeds negativity and it’s toxic.

3/ GIVE LOVE

Share love at every opportunity.  Every human being is capable of love, (some find it near on impossible, but they have the capacity and they might not know how – don’t forget this).  Take time during the day to share the love – this might be telling a friend of family member you love them, it might be buying a cup of tea for a homeless person, it could be as small as smiling at the sad looking person on the bus, or saying ‘have a nice evening’ to the lady who works in the corner shop. There are countless ways to share the love, TRAZILLION WAYS.  The more you give, the more you will get, it’s a simple as that.  Remember love can be as big as the birth of your child, and as small as patting a dog on a walk in the park, what’s important is, it’s all love!

4/ ACCEPT LOVE

I am the queen on dissing people who compliment me and I am currently making a conscious effort to accept love from people.  The other day I did a presentation at work, immediately after I was talking to a colleague and I said ‘I think I did a pretty terrible job of that’… Then gave myself a big mental slap.  My colleague told me I did a good job, and I said ‘thanks that means a lot’, with a smile.  It was HARD for me to do this and I think a lot of us are good as dissing ourselves down and focusing on our shortcomings.  If people are being nice to you, giving you kindness, please take it, even if it feels hard.  You really are worth that, and they in turn deserve your thanks, because they made the effort to praise you.  Sharing this loop of positivity will enable both participants to receive and access more love and love is the greatest thing in the world isn’t it?!

I’m going to blog on all 4 of these points so please keep an eye out for more!

With love

Lis xx

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